“Nothing was working. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t healthy.”At thirty, with a solid career in the United States and a life that looked stable from the outside, Mary Benz chose to leave everything behind. What began as a personal reckoning with illness and burnout became something larger: a search for peace, autonomy, and a different idea of what a life could look like. In this interview, she speaks candidly about endometriosis, political disillusionment, work culture, independence, and why Rome, not New York, is where she now feels most at home.1. You are in your thirties and chose to leave the United States. Was it an escape, a search, or a political act? A bit of everything, I guess. Initially what pushed me toward Italy was the fact that nothing was going right in my personal life. My career was pretty solid and had plenty of opportunities, but being a mom is one of the most important parts of my life. While I struggled to find the man to start a family with, I decided to go down the “single mother by choice” path. It was brutal, to keep it short and honest. And ultimately it didn’t work. It was one of the last big pushes toward my new life in Italy, and the last election results made it that much easier for me to not mind moving across the world to start a new life. 2. Do you remember the exact moment you realized you wanted to live in Italy? I always imagined retiring here, in Sicily, on the beach, off the grid and eating amazing food in the sun every day. But then my 30th birthday was coming, and I had a particularly rough year. I had two surgeries in under six months, both of which landed me with diagnoses: endometriosis and adenomyosis. I had never traveled to Europe and I knew Italy had to be my first stop. I did have this underlying and secret pull toward it within those few months, one that made me think, “Where would I live if I happened to move there sooner?” I decided to check out Florence and Rome. 3. What was missing in the United States that you found here? So much. Nothing was working. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t healthy. I wasn’t any closer to becoming a mom. I wanted more out of life. Here I find more peace, I find happiness, and I am able to slow down a bit, enjoy the world around me and learn a new way of living. 4. Do you feel freer in Italy, or simply more at peace? A bit of both. I feel immensely more at peace and in many ways more free because while I still need to work really hard building a new life, my life isn’t just about work. It isn’t just about how many hours I put into my businesses or whether I got everything done on my checklist. 5. How has living with endometriosis shaped your life decisions? Endometriosis and adenomyosis are intense. Every person with these conditions has different triggers, pain levels and stages. They are wildly underfunded in terms of research. Endometriosis is currently incurable, and adenomyosis is only curable by removing the uterus. I lost faith in the healthcare system and started doing my own research: analyzing case studies, reviewing research, finding specialists. I completely altered my diet to reduce inflammation, since both conditions are fueled by it. I became even more committed to fitness for my mental and physical health. I began taking vitamins and supplements that positively impact symptoms and general health for women in their thirties. Living with both conditions also increases the likelihood of pregnancy complications, which adds stress and makes me more focused on finding a life partner. 6. Has the Italian healthcare system changed your relationship with your illness? My relationship with my illnesses is complex. Anyone whose body doesn’t function as expected can relate. Having a healthcare system that is significantly lower in cost and, in my experience, with shorter wait times compared to the U.S., makes a difference. Even with the language barrier, I feel a base sense of care and interest that I often didn’t feel in the U.S. 7. In the United States, did you feel heard as a patient? No. I spent 14 years going in and out of doctors’ offices, across multiple specialties, undergoing ultrasounds, bloodwork, fertility testing, procedures, diet changes, and enduring severe pain and bloating. I was repeatedly told, “We don’t know what’s wrong,” “The tests are inconclusive,” or “Nothing is wrong.” All while paying for insurance, waiting months for rushed appointments and having to advocate for myself in a fragmented system where no one had time to connect the dots. 8. Does living with a chronic illness change how you choose the country you live in? Now that I am here, yes. I also have arthritis and Raynaud’s, both negatively impacted by cold weather. Living somewhere that rarely drops below 40 degrees Fahrenheit reduces my physical pain. Having fewer added hormones and chemicals in food also helps. 9. Has Italy improved your quality of life emotionally as well as physically? Yes. I don’t just want to go through the motions. I want to thrive. Simple things make me happy: sunshine, a sunrise or sunset, the sea, amazing food. Italy creates an environment more aligned with the life I want than the U.S. ever did. 10. You have mentioned disagreeing with certain current U.S. policies. What are we talking about? Healthcare, rights, work culture. I would be devastated to have a daughter born in a country that doesn’t value her equally or protect her autonomy. I do not feel safe as a woman in the United States in the current climate. Beyond that, I believe life should be about kindness, compassion and making things better for others. I do not feel that this is reflected in current policies. Work culture also feels extreme. Even doing what I loved, I was burnt out and exhausted. That started when I was 15. 11. Do you consider yourself politically active, or someone who votes with her feet? Both. I am politically active on social media and in conversation. I highlight major differences between my life in the U.S. and here, and politics is intertwined with safety, food and healthcare. 12. Does Italy feel more humane, or simply less aggressive? From my perspective, more humane. There is a sense of community and care in everyday life. It is also less aggressive, which can be hard to adjust to after years in New York. 13. Is there something about America you would still fiercely defend? My family and friends live there. It gave three of my grandparents hope and a new life. The American Dream was once attainable through hard work. Without that chapter, I wouldn’t exist. I defend that history and the opportunities it once offered. 14. At thirty, you work as a real estate agent. Was that practical or a calling? It wasn’t practical at first. I had a full career in high-end furniture and design leadership. During COVID, I took real estate courses while working full time. It was exhausting. Now, after years in the field, I believe it is part of my calling. I value creating a strong client experience. Real estate, interior design and project management form the pillars of my business. 15. What does it mean to work in the Italian property market as a foreign woman? It’s hard, especially with language barriers. But I know the industry, how to sell, how to price and how to market. Many of my clients are international buyers. 16. Differences in how business is done? Absolutely. Work-life balance is different. There is more living here, though sometimes things feel too relaxed. Fortunately, my office is collaborative and supportive. 17. Do you feel more entrepreneurial here? Not necessarily more, but challenged differently. Learning a new language and building partnerships adds complexity, which I appreciate. 18. You live with your cat. Symbol of independence? He was a surprise gift from an ex. He’s moved with me from town to town, from New York to Connecticut to Rome. I’m independent, but I couldn’t have navigated the last decade without him. 19. Do you feel lonely in Italy? Yes, sometimes. Loneliness is part of growth. Moving without family requires comfort with solitude. I’ve made friends, but everyone has their own life. 20. What does a typical day in Rome look like? I walk to my office when it’s warm, stop for espresso, network, explore new streets. Even on tough days, a walk recalibrates me. 21. Have you found community? Yes, within my industry and among other immigrants. Diversity has always mattered to me. 22. Do you feel American or Italian? As an Italian-American, it feels like watering my roots. I am embracing parts of the culture and letting go of others. 23. Most Italian habit adopted? Walking after meals and embracing voice messages. 24. Most American trait you won’t give up? Walking fast. 25. Do you feel stronger or more vulnerable after this move? Both. Vulnerability is strength. I try to show the full reality of such a life change. 26. If you had to explain in one sentence why you stayed in Italy? I believed there was a better life for me here, in a culture focused on intention, health and connection. 27. Where do you see yourself in ten years? A wife and mother, a lifestyle entrepreneur with businesses and properties in multiple countries, speaking three languages, living between city and countryside. 28. What would you say to a thirty-year-old American woman thinking of leaving? Do it. If something feels missing, change your geography intentionally. Plan, but leave room for adventure. Surrender to the wave.  

At thirty, with a solid career in the United States and a life that looked stable from the outside, Mary Benz chose to leave everything behind. What began as a personal reckoning with illness and burnout became something larger: a search for peace, autonomy, and a different idea of what a life could look like. In this interview, she speaks candidly about endometriosis, political disillusionment, work culture, independence, and why Rome, not New York, is where she now feels most at home. 1. You are in your thirties and chose to leave the United States. Was it an escape, a search, or a political act? A bit of everything, I guess. Initially what pushed me toward Italy was the fact that nothing was going right in my personal life. My career was pretty solid and had plenty of opportunities, but being a mom is one of the most important parts of my life. While I struggled to find the man to start a family with, I decided to go down the “single mother by choice” path. It was brutal, to keep it short and honest. And ultimately it didn’t work. It was one of the last big pushes toward my new life in Italy, and the last election results made it that much easier for me to not mind moving across the world to start a new life. 2. Do you remember the exact moment you realized you wanted to live in Italy? I always imagined retiring here, in Sicily, on the beach, off the grid and eating amazing food in the sun every day. But then my 30th birthday was coming, and I had a particularly rough year. I had two surgeries in under six months, both of which landed me with diagnoses: endometriosis and adenomyosis. I had never traveled to Europe and I knew Italy had to be my first stop. I did have this underlying and secret pull toward it within those few months, one that made me think, “Where would I live if I happened to move there sooner?” I decided to check out Florence and Rome. 3. What was missing in the United States that you found here? So much. Nothing was working. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t healthy. I wasn’t any closer to becoming a mom. I wanted more out of life. Here I find more peace, I find happiness, and I am able to slow down a bit, enjoy the world around me and learn a new way of living. 4. Do you feel freer in Italy, or simply more at peace? A bit of both. I feel immensely more at peace and in many ways more free because while I still need to work really hard building a new life, my life isn’t just about work. It isn’t just about how many hours I put into my businesses or whether I got everything done on my checklist. 5. How has living with endometriosis shaped your life decisions? Endometriosis and adenomyosis are intense. Every person with these conditions has different triggers, pain levels and stages. They are wildly underfunded in terms of research. Endometriosis is currently incurable, and adenomyosis is only curable by removing the uterus. I lost faith in the healthcare system and started doing my own research: analyzing case studies, reviewing research, finding specialists. I completely altered my diet to reduce inflammation, since both conditions are fueled by it. I became even more committed to fitness for my mental and physical health. I began taking vitamins and supplements that positively impact symptoms and general health for women in their thirties. Living with both conditions also increases the likelihood of pregnancy complications, which adds stress and makes me more focused on finding a life partner. 6. Has the Italian healthcare system changed your relationship with your illness? My relationship with my illnesses is complex. Anyone whose body doesn’t function as expected can relate. Having a healthcare system that is significantly lower in cost and, in my experience, with shorter wait times compared to the U.S., makes a difference. Even with the language barrier, I feel a base sense of care and interest that I often didn’t feel in the U.S. 7. In the United States, did you feel heard as a patient? No. I spent 14 years going in and out of doctors’ offices, across multiple specialties, undergoing ultrasounds, bloodwork, fertility testing, procedures, diet changes, and enduring severe pain and bloating. I was repeatedly told, “We don’t know what’s wrong,” “The tests are inconclusive,” or “Nothing is wrong.” All while paying for insurance, waiting months for rushed appointments and having to advocate for myself in a fragmented system where no one had time to connect the dots. 8. Does living with a chronic illness change how you choose the country you live in? Now that I am here, yes. I also have arthritis and Raynaud’s, both negatively impacted by cold weather. Living somewhere that rarely drops below 40 degrees Fahrenheit reduces my physical pain. Having fewer added hormones and chemicals in food also helps. 9. Has Italy improved your quality of life emotionally as well as physically? Yes. I don’t just want to go through the motions. I want to thrive. Simple things make me happy: sunshine, a sunrise or sunset, the sea, amazing food. Italy creates an environment more aligned with the life I want than the U.S. ever did. 10. You have mentioned disagreeing with certain current U.S. policies. What are we talking about? Healthcare, rights, work culture. I would be devastated to have a daughter born in a country that doesn’t value her equally or protect her autonomy. I do not feel safe as a woman in the United States in the current climate. Beyond that, I believe life should be about kindness, compassion and making things better for others. I do not feel that this is reflected in current policies. Work culture also feels extreme. Even doing what I loved, I was burnt out and exhausted. That started when I was 15. 11. Do you consider yourself politically active, or someone who votes with her feet? Both. I am politically active on social media and in conversation. I highlight major differences between my life in the U.S. and here, and politics is intertwined with safety, food and healthcare. 12. Does Italy feel more humane, or simply less aggressive? From my perspective, more humane. There is a sense of community and care in everyday life. It is also less aggressive, which can be hard to adjust to after years in New York. 13. Is there something about America you would still fiercely defend? My family and friends live there. It gave three of my grandparents hope and a new life. The American Dream was once attainable through hard work. Without that chapter, I wouldn’t exist. I defend that history and the opportunities it once offered. 14. At thirty, you work as a real estate agent. Was that practical or a calling? It wasn’t practical at first. I had a full career in high-end furniture and design leadership. During COVID, I took real estate courses while working full time. It was exhausting. Now, after years in the field, I believe it is part of my calling. I value creating a strong client experience. Real estate, interior design and project management form the pillars of my business. 15. What does it mean to work in the Italian property market as a foreign woman? It’s hard, especially with language barriers. But I know the industry, how to sell, how to price and how to market. Many of my clients are international buyers. 16. Differences in how business is done? Absolutely. Work-life balance is different. There is more living here, though sometimes things feel too relaxed. Fortunately, my office is collaborative and supportive. 17. Do you feel more entrepreneurial here? Not necessarily more, but challenged differently. Learning a new language and building partnerships adds complexity, which I appreciate. 18. You live with your cat. Symbol of independence? He was a surprise gift from an ex. He’s moved with me from town to town, from New York to Connecticut to Rome. I’m independent, but I couldn’t have navigated the last decade without him. 19. Do you feel lonely in Italy? Yes, sometimes. Loneliness is part of growth. Moving without family requires comfort with solitude. I’ve made friends, but everyone has their own life. 20. What does a typical day in Rome look like? I walk to my office when it’s warm, stop for espresso, network, explore new streets. Even on tough days, a walk recalibrates me. 21. Have you found community? Yes, within my industry and among other immigrants. Diversity has always mattered to me. 22. Do you feel American or Italian? As an Italian-American, it feels like watering my roots. I am embracing parts of the culture and letting go of others. 23. Most Italian habit adopted? Walking after meals and embracing voice messages. 24. Most American trait you won’t give up? Walking fast. 25. Do you feel stronger or more vulnerable after this move? Both. Vulnerability is strength. I try to show the full reality of such a life change. 26. If you had to explain in one sentence why you stayed in Italy? I believed there was a better life for me here, in a culture focused on intention, health and connection. 27. Where do you see yourself in ten years? A wife and mother, a lifestyle entrepreneur with businesses and properties in multiple countries, speaking three languages, living between city and countryside. 28. What would you say to a thirty-year-old American woman thinking of leaving? Do it. If something feels missing, change your geography intentionally. Plan, but leave room for adventure. Surrender to the wave.